i mostly look forward to post-sex, to be honest. but all i can think about lately is that thing that harry says in when harry met sally about how all men think about after sex is how long they have to lay there and cuddle before they can get up and leave.
there is no worse feeling than your partner leaving after you fuck. i guess that can be categorized as abandonment. all forms of abandonment are the absolute lowest of low pits.
but also, i hate playgrounds. i want to see some old school dangerous fun playground equipment, please. made out of hot metal, that you can burn yourself on, and fall off of, and get really dizzy on, that are the cause of sprained ankles. what kid wants to play on plastic with no sharp edges? no wonder they all turn to drugs and sex and hanging out by train tracks...PLAYGROUNDS SUCK NOW.
Tuesday, July 29
Thursday, July 17
just for my own memory i need to record the happenings of my subconscious, aka one of the most intense/cinematic dreams ever. i'm already losing the details but here's what i can recall:
1. it all lead up to the dark knight premiere at midnight. i'm at the mall and eddie veder is near corner bakery, as is some vagabond seeming young man having conversations with everyone
2. my most recent ex-boyfriend was in town and i desperately needed to tell him how many people i've slept with/how hurt i am...but he beats me to the punch by telling me how he's fucked a girl. i then proceed to insult how fast he is at coming during the act with "how long did i take yo this time? ten or twenty seconds?" i continue to try and talk to him but there is some asian man who keeps preventing this from happening, slash little kids playing laser tag that keep stinging me (what? i know)i am still heart broken and have this incredible urge to talk to him but end up running away as fast as i can.
3. i see a girl i went to high school with, belinda. she's riding this boy's (the one i'm fucking now) vespa. i meet her at what seems to be mccormic and howard and she gives it to me. my closest three guy friends (max, alec, andy) role up on little kid plastic bikes. we ride away. for some reason they're going faster than me even though it feels like i'm going full speed. like scary full speed. and i'm all of a sudden riding on green bay road past a wallgreens, and there's all these old people wheel chair shopping carts in the middle of the street. i jump them on the scooter and then black out.
4. when i wake up i'm in jail. this girl who was my best friend at the beginning of the summer but isn't now is there, along with several of her minions. max,etc are there too. we're all in one cell and they won't tell us why we're being held. i try to figure it out and try to escape to go talk to my ex/see the dark knight but nothing works. i get in a fight with the girl because she has white shit all over her face and i tell her i don't find that attractive at all. she says something mean about the ex being in town, about him looking at other women and i slap her.
5. i end up escaping and running towards the movie theatre but it's suddenly day time again. the day has started over- like the movie groundhogs day, kind of, but different. midnight is never going to come. for some reason (in the dream) some larger power is trying stop me from seeing the movie. the vagabond is there, and he's going insane because time won't move forward for him either. he tries to bury a twenty dollar bill. we go to his house and his parents are having a dinner party. he is literally tearing down his entire house. he wants to find the money he buried.
the strange this is i kept vaguely waking up but then forcing myself back into the dream.
go listen to lcd soundsystem if you're not already.
and get exile in guyville.
1. it all lead up to the dark knight premiere at midnight. i'm at the mall and eddie veder is near corner bakery, as is some vagabond seeming young man having conversations with everyone
2. my most recent ex-boyfriend was in town and i desperately needed to tell him how many people i've slept with/how hurt i am...but he beats me to the punch by telling me how he's fucked a girl. i then proceed to insult how fast he is at coming during the act with "how long did i take yo this time? ten or twenty seconds?" i continue to try and talk to him but there is some asian man who keeps preventing this from happening, slash little kids playing laser tag that keep stinging me (what? i know)i am still heart broken and have this incredible urge to talk to him but end up running away as fast as i can.
3. i see a girl i went to high school with, belinda. she's riding this boy's (the one i'm fucking now) vespa. i meet her at what seems to be mccormic and howard and she gives it to me. my closest three guy friends (max, alec, andy) role up on little kid plastic bikes. we ride away. for some reason they're going faster than me even though it feels like i'm going full speed. like scary full speed. and i'm all of a sudden riding on green bay road past a wallgreens, and there's all these old people wheel chair shopping carts in the middle of the street. i jump them on the scooter and then black out.
4. when i wake up i'm in jail. this girl who was my best friend at the beginning of the summer but isn't now is there, along with several of her minions. max,etc are there too. we're all in one cell and they won't tell us why we're being held. i try to figure it out and try to escape to go talk to my ex/see the dark knight but nothing works. i get in a fight with the girl because she has white shit all over her face and i tell her i don't find that attractive at all. she says something mean about the ex being in town, about him looking at other women and i slap her.
5. i end up escaping and running towards the movie theatre but it's suddenly day time again. the day has started over- like the movie groundhogs day, kind of, but different. midnight is never going to come. for some reason (in the dream) some larger power is trying stop me from seeing the movie. the vagabond is there, and he's going insane because time won't move forward for him either. he tries to bury a twenty dollar bill. we go to his house and his parents are having a dinner party. he is literally tearing down his entire house. he wants to find the money he buried.
the strange this is i kept vaguely waking up but then forcing myself back into the dream.
go listen to lcd soundsystem if you're not already.
and get exile in guyville.
Sunday, July 6
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