bowerbirds

I’m still listening to that song. Listening to it after a really emotionally intense/confusing dream during your Sunday afternoon nap probably isn’t the best idea, for those of you who are wondering.

The entire dream is a blur, but it’s been the most real and intense yet. I’m not going to try to put together a plot or anything, that would mess it all up. Here’s a list of random images/main points from it.

(forgive me, seriously. I’m becoming obsessed with my dreams, I always have to write them down.)

(some names have been changed.)

1. I needed to get on a plane to Israel. I can’t tell whether or not I was choosing to go there or being shipped off. The entire dream was my journey to try and PACK (packing seemed like an impossible task) and get on the plane in time.
2. At some point, I was in my parent’s room. My mom had all the papers, printed out from the internet, containing the information about my flight. She reassured me that my flight didn’t leave until early in the morning and that I had a lot of time.
3. I was in what seemed like my Grandmothers apartment- I’m in there A LOT in my dreams. It always takes some kind of a different form, but it’s always hers. The door to her bedroom was made of glass, I could see right through it. I don’t know who I was with, but I was freaking out about having to leave and an ex-boyfriend’s family (not the ex-boyfriend himself) were sitting in her living room. His mother came to the door and demanded that I buy them more string cheese, since apparently I had eaten all of theirs. I told her I would, and she continued to berate me. I went back into the room, moments later the entire was at the door wearing pathetic Halloween costumes, and trick or treating for string cheese. I got incredibly upset that they wouldn’t leave me alone and ran out of the apartment, on a quest to buy them more string cheese, pack and get on that plane to Israel. We (whoever I was with) were then walking down a very bright, city like street.
4. I was at an El stop in north Chicago. I was with Alex and Randy. At some point during the dream I had held Randy’s hand. I leaned over to try and kiss him and just ended up getting the side of his mouth. I then put my hand into Alex’s pocket and held his hand. Then I was in a bathroom making out with George- it was terrible and I kept feeling like I was going to vomit. I kept telling him to go slower with all of his motions, and he ended up getting really upset.
5. I was at another train station, but it was an old one. Some boy from a ska band was there, and there was an entire rack of clothing/shoes/objects of things I’ve lost. Like, the rack of labeled “Kori’s lost things” and I just started grabbing all of them frantically and shoving them into a bag. Before that, the ska boy and I were talking and he was going to Israel too. Everyone was wondering why we were freaking out and we were just like “We could die. It’s a little stressful.”

I don’t know if I made the plane or not. I woke up.

I’m a total wreck right now.


I think I am a wreck because I know that things are only going to get weirder and harder. It’s like I’m about to enter this part of my life that will determine a lot of things, that’s how I feel. But in a way it feels like it’s going to be purgatory, this place where I experiment with drugs and just kind of take everything in.